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 sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..

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The Mod
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Male Number of posts : 241
Age : 32
Location : BesideMyMako
Course : BS ComSci [dati]
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Registration date : 2006-09-02

PostSubject: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Mon Sep 11, 2006 2:22 pm

Dad's Dating Rules!
Rule One

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five

In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

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Name: Jigno Alfred Venezuela
Course: BS Computer Science
Friendster: badd_lahk@yahoo.com

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Buknoy
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Male Number of posts : 439
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Location : Sa tabi-tabi ng Batangas
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PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Mon Sep 11, 2006 11:35 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! that was a good one!
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The Mod
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PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Tue Sep 12, 2006 1:19 pm

tnx.. woot

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Name: Jigno Alfred Venezuela
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bulate
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Male Number of posts : 139
Age : 34
Location : Luta Sur Malvar
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Registration date : 2006-08-31

PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Tue Sep 12, 2006 4:04 pm

brutal...

very very brutal...

yet, useful...

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And all that i was is just a...
TRAGEDY


Mark Elgene Labay a.k.a Bulate
Faith BSIT
l_gin08@yahoo.com
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PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Wed Sep 13, 2006 3:35 am

its kinda true.. i like the bit about the "camouflaged face".. haha

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czheenczhan21
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PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:20 am

santa
i Luv dis part fr0m ruLe 9.!

I have a shotgun affraid , a shovel affraid , and five acres behind the house affraid .

parang simpLeng riddLe.!

lol!
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The Mod
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PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:17 pm

that one too! :shiver:

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PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Thu Sep 21, 2006 1:28 pm

i vote for rule 10
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The Mod
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Male Number of posts : 241
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Registration date : 2006-09-02

PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Thu Sep 21, 2006 2:18 pm

igawa ng poll!

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Name: Jigno Alfred Venezuela
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czheenczhan21
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Male Number of posts : 42
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PostSubject: Re: sumthin about girl's dads.. guyz take care in reading..   Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:05 am

santa
okz.!
my bet f0r 9.!
bounce
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